My Path

Knowledge has fled. Strength is absent.

2011-10-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Prosper and celebrate, loud with noise
Joy and laughter, proud and bold
While the enemy lurks
While the enemy kills
Each one of us are sleeping still.

Wide awake, our eyes may seem
Full of sounds our ears hear
Our mind is present, yet thinking is absent
While the enemy lurks
While the enemy kills
Everyone is ignorant still

A person, human
Blessed with all,
All that they need, all that they want
Yet the enemy speaks
Still the enemy persuades

We listen to it
Greed is born and fulfilled
Yet nothing is gained
Nothing we need nothing we can benefit
We die empty by our own doing

Now, those who know
Make companion to arrogance
Make family to ignorance
Those who refuse
Blind, deaf and dumb
Left in the emptiness

Knowledge has fled
Patience is myth
Understanding, an act
Morality made weird
Strength is absent

So I thought

2011-07-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

A week was given
A week I had
A week to settle
Everything that was left bad

A little hope was born
To find the person
When all along
The person was already here

To think I could solve
The problems that pulled us
Apart from each other
A question needed an answer

Am I ready for this
Will I be able to keep calm
Will that person receive
Yet in truth she did not believe

She sees me as I was
A kid who knows no better
Doesn’t she realize
I’m now a different person altogether

So I thought I could
Finally end this dispute
To have new found strength
I was ready

All this time I thought
I didnt change much
Yet I am far ahead
Because change for her
Didn’t come to even touch

Sometimes

2011-07-22T03:40:00.000-07:00

As everything unfolds
Keep unfolding to no end
A circle is always made
It begins, it ends and begins again.

I wonder and ask
As the whole grand scheme unveils
Why do I think this way
Yet I haven't been thought as they

The old man works to no end
Unwise at moments yet finishes his race
My bones grow and grow
Till strength is within

Enough for me to experience
What life has to offer
In dark corners in brightest of centers
Lies and deceit, truth and justice

A calling very faint in me
Yet near as I can feel
Tells me there is more to life
Than what is told and what is shown

To those who hide within themselves
To those who hide behind their backs
Truth is truth
In its nature it cannot be kept

I find my way as they reveal
To me what I need
Reveal my responsibility
To show where is my place

As I look up beyond the sky
And down beneath my feet
I see significance
In the tiniest of things

Given a responsibility
That we
That many
Have been kept from to see

Lost but able

2011-05-25T07:07:00.001-07:00

I never had a dream to be someone
I was never able to see the glory of anything
Once when I was a child

As I grow I realize
I have never put any passion in my pursuits
Something that I lack, something that I need

I am able
But I do not know where
My efforts lay on which table

Once I wanted to be a scientist
But seeing where I am
Destiny has something else for me

So I wait when I am inspired
To put that burning passion
With effort to inspire people

To help release the lies
We live with today
So that one day we are not weak
One day where we stop being the sheep

Torture for those who think

2011-05-19T03:30:00.000-07:00

As I sit still watching
I feel the earth turning
Day turns to night
Peace and beauty always in sight

It sickens me to think
I am here
As my brothers die
As they try to persevere

Still, opportunity is not presented
Patience I must practice
The cruel fate bestowed on me
Still I stay still till I am fated

Face facts

2011-02-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hate it when the person you love HURTS YOU the most then says;

"If you love them let them go. If your meant to be, they'll come back. If not, then its God's way of saying they are not for you"

Well IF YOU LOVED ME, DONT HURT ME. LOGIC?

Hate it when they act as if they are the good gals. Living it to GOD and such.
Well act as you may, the truth is there. Truth knows what happened.
Truth knows who deserves to say these inspiring quotes.

At the random guy, taking advice from someone who destroys?
Not a good idea.

This will be my last post. Gonna delete it after this.
Saying goodbye forever. You showed no effort. NOTHING.
Till i die, i wont forgive you. Have a nice life. When life can be so kind.

Love, a figment of the imagination

2011-02-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

I had a beautiful,amazing,adventurous,hurtful,betrayed,real,trying relationship.
We hit a huge bump. But i tried, i tried for the both of us.
But its not enough for you. Never is. Never will be.

You hurt me so much its unimaginable, yet i stick with you. I chose you.
Of all the girls i chose you.
I stayed true, yet your mind creates ghosts that (from your perspective) im with.
You become paranoid so much it hurts us both.

I tried waking you up. Yet you never listened.
I stayed calm, be patient more than i can be.

Yet it was never enough. I tried making you stronger, but you never saw my true intentions.

You still created ghosts, still paranoid.
A part of me wished to just slap you out of it
and tell you your the only one im in love with.

My words can never reach you.

I tried, i did. Still you pushed me away.

Love, a joke.

Yet no one's laughing.

Thing is

2011-02-01T05:24:00.000-08:00

People in Malaysia have been sending their children overseas to study.
For a long time.
Thing is, our country is still not catching up with our neighboring countries.

Another thing is, parents.
They send their children to other countries without the slightest idea of the country's economic stability, politics, and other real agendas going on.

The egypt riot is an example.
If parents here knew that egypt has been under the same rule for 30 years despite being a democratic country, they would have expected that a riot would break out.

I think, the best students should be kept here in Malaysia.
Study here and build in them all the values of a great leader.
For every intelligent mind should be shaped for a leader.

Malaysia would develop twice as fast.

Another thing, the world is in chaos and lies.
Everyone is hurting and being oppressed.
Yet, our people and more importantly our LEADERS
are focused on petty squabbles.
All only for their selfish political interests.

When your a LEADER, your an EXAMPLE for your people.
You be the HERO. You be that HAPPY ending for them.
You be the JUSTICE. You be their shining HOPE.

For when you become a leader, yet your people cry in pain.
You know that their cries will NOT be left unheard.
For ALLAH will reveal to you what you have done and who have you done it to.

Its nothing.

2011-01-31T05:22:00.001-08:00

Get over it. Chances are, im with you.
So please, pull yourself together and be strong. I said it before.
I have plans.

She said it

2011-01-28T09:25:00.000-08:00

She told me "kita merancang Allah tentukan"

She surprises me everytime i go out with her.
The way she looks away, the way she talks.
A little smile is always there in my heart for her.

I remembered someone said,
"Dont judge people for the people being judge maybe more pure hearted than the one judging"

I follow what he says. It never fails to work, i've met many inspiring and interesting people that way. Some of which made my heart beat.

She's much more of a girl than any girl i know.
More than she knows it,
I thought being with her,
Maybe she would see it too.

Feelings did start to blossom.
But as she said "kita merancang Allah tentukan"

As things are the way they are now
I just hope you know
You are special more than you could ever know

Maybe we'll cross paths one day.
See ya later Nabila.

He said it

2011-01-26T21:14:00.000-08:00

I never knew that trying to be good will get you enemies in the world.
Small or otherwise. The hate is there.

For the path of truth is paved by loneliness and pain.
Many walk the other way.

As for me, i see the end
Its worth it
I walk it.

You may think im being old fashioned or whatever.
Just dont be fooled in thinking that wrong is right.

Wrong is still wrong
Right is still right.

Simple as that.

One day when im there,
Hopefully you'll see it.

Thanks for the memories
Nice knowing you
Just know your special in all you do

Please do visit

2011-01-26T14:11:00.001-08:00

http://ashestodusk.tumblr.com/

True Strength

2011-01-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

One would say a man is measured by his strength.
Read it once, it might be wrong.
Read it twice, you start to guess.
Read it thrice, you know its deep.

Strength
For the mind
For the soul
For the heart
For the body

Where i am right now,
It is still a long journey for me to reach true strength.

So much i have to learn,
Yet i feel time is closing in.

But make no mistake,
till i sleep i'll keep on learning.

Everyday i'll get stronger
and even more.

To inspire and to lead
As i leave my devils crying

To seek His shine His light
I'll go through the path
Full of pain and suffering

My mind
My heart
My eyes are clear,
I'd rather suffer knowing truth
Than be happy only knowing falsehood.

I have no luck in love

2011-01-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

You think you know someone
You think.

Then they show you their true colours.
Just leave them after that, learn from my mistake.

I didnt, it only made matters worse.
Now i can say i finally took a stand.

I'd rather stay on this path alone
Rather than be with someone miserably.

Patience goes a long way.

Im never afraid to say that i can love sincerely than most men.
Plus, after my experiences
Im never afraid to say, its the girls that mess up everytime.

They say guys are jerks and cant be trusted and stuff
Well my response,
The guys you choose with your eyes are jerks.

To be with someone coz of looks,
Goodluck by being happy with that.

I pray that maybe in the future my sincerety towards love will be rewarded.
To the girls of the past,
You broke my heart, yeah.
May Allah have a little mercy on you when your time comes.
May it not happen when your married and have kids.

For now, My path is important. Thats all.
To be a better man more than i can be.
To achieve Allah's shine and blessing for my life living here on His earth.

Ili, my devil says "You just lost yourself the greatest thing that could've happen to you"

Allah forgive me for my pride.

Reality, the better part of life

2011-01-16T03:22:00.000-08:00

A few days back i did something.
I decided to deactivate my facebook account.

I don't think i'd to justify myself with this act.
But i did say goodbye and apologize to people that i care.
Eventhough we dont talk that much now.

That was why i decided to deactivate it.
I spend my time socializing on the net
When i should be more active in real life.

Meeting people and socializing with them in real life
Is much more interesting
All the bad parts and the good parts.

Thats life.

Atleast i have the skill to choose my friends
It'll reduce the bad parts of socializing in life.

I realized facebook has stripped away a part of our humanity
I didnt want to be dead any longer.
I wanna live.

Humility

2011-01-13T19:11:00.000-08:00

Ego,
is a problem
for the whole world

Ego,
is a factor
the main source
of all the evil in this world

Ego,
destroys those
who have it
everywhere around the world

It is a very important lesson for man
To keep open eyes
To keep an open mind
To keep an open heart

For knowledge chooses anyone,shape or size, age or race.
No one is different. Everyone is the same.

A child has much to teach
Just as a man has much to show
Both has much to learn

No difference. None at all.

Name, status, wealth
They are all illusions
To the truth, that there are more
Responsibilities that come with name,status,wealth

More of it, the more responsibility
The more there is to learn,to show,to teach

Ego,
is like a hole in your heart
a big weakness
always exposed to make you fall

Humility,
is like medicine
remember to take it, practice it
a huge strength
always there to teach you to rise.

Crystal Clear

2011-01-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

I grew up in an odd manner.
Not knowing religion.
Not knowing God.

Yes, this is rather odd.
For was it not God that created me?
I felt a longing.

It was a whisper yet still there
Echoing in my mind, in my heart
To know the truth.

After lots of events i arrive at this point
I see the world for what it actually is
I see it crystal clear.

I do not understand why other people with a much more richer religious background,
Would easily turn away.

Do they see religion as just a faith?
Just a faith? A legend? A myth?

It is odd because,
I see my religion as logic.
As science, as education, as real and true.
True and logic, like gravity.

I see this world so clear,
I look at people, i see through them.
Im able to know who they truly are.
Most of who i see, has lost their individuality.

I feel life around me.
I see the value.
I hear the cries.

For in every one of us
There is that whisper
That tells us.

An important message.

Please see the world, see it crystal clear.

We are here and we dont know it.

2011-01-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

I was taught on a friday.
Something about it is very important in the world today.

The Uprising
The War
The Coming
The Conclusion
The End

There were 5 things that was said about a particular age.
Rain would not fall if it were not for the animals.
Leaders would oppress.
Leaders would not believe in the law of the God.
Only these 3 i remember perfectly, its not in order but the other two is already happening.

When these 5 things occur, then the age will not receive any good.

As i was listening, and counting the five.
Its happening.
Meaning that, this is the said age.

We who leave in it, we are actually not receiving any good from above.
Whatever good comes our way, its meant for something else. Or maybe someone else.

I stayed shocked for the entire day.
We're close to the end of days.
Most of us still dont know it.

I am a 100% sure that majority of the people present in the "khutbah", haven't realized how deep the "khutbah" is.

To make it clear, we are here;

Days where man kills his own
Days where justice is blind
Days where evil is triumphant
Days where everyone ignores truth
Days where everyone embraces falsehood because it makes them feel happy

To put it clearer;

Days where the rich get richer EVENTHOUGH THEY LIE AND CHEAT
Days where the poor get poorer DESPITE ALL THE HONEST EFFORT
Days where leaders smile happily EVENTHOUGH THEIR PEOPLE ARE SUFFERRING
Days where falsehood is all that matters AND THE TRUTH IS SWEPT UNDER THE RUG

To put it clearest;

WE ARE NEAR TO THE END OF DAYS. VERY NEAR, YOU MIGHT SWEAT IF YOU REALIZED.

p.s im not talking about 2012, thts just dumb. but if your a believer, you'll figure it out.

Going 20, where it all really starts

2011-01-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Now is a most suitable time for me to apply what i've learned from the past 19 years.

Im going to grow up as a man i want to be. To do that, i've to start now.
20 years of age where it all changes.

The little kinks
Some spots of mistakes
And all the other things that oughta shrink

I grow out of it, building something solid
Making my way up
Taking my time
Building it perfectly stable and strong
So that i can move on

The methods
The ideas
The ways

All into me, so that i see.
Im going to get there one day.

A painting at the end of the hall.

2010-12-28T21:59:00.000-08:00

In a frame
Hanging on a nail
Balanced against gravity
But as fragile as an ant maybe.

Its just this or just that
A mess of colours and age
Yet beauty justified in its place.

As dull like black and white
As exciting like rainbow on a setting sky
A beautiful opportunity, a chance to be revealed.

The brush that makes the stroke
These hands, these feet, all the hearts that meet
Bestow never ending miracles, never ending sorrow

Life,
forgotten

Concerned and Alert (kfc)

2010-12-23T22:25:00.000-08:00

Ili posted an article about kfc an asked me what do i think.
I read it and was at first shocked.

Then, i made my own research both on P.E.T.A and KFC itself.
Browsing through true facts about kfc.

I stumbled upon shocking evidence about kfc's horrific torture towards its chickens.
Yes, the same chicken that we are suppose to eat!

I mean, im no vegan and i love meat. But animals have the rights to be slaughtered in a respectful manner. Coz its us humans who slaughter it, why not do it the humane way?

But Kfc back in the states, have ignored P.E.T.A's plead. They say they do and they have done this and that but its all a big lie.

There were people appointed to overlook the way the chicken farmers treat their chickens. These people were supposed to give advice about animal rights and are obligated to make them immediately efective.

The shocking thing is KFC never held a meeting, and these people said "I felt like i was being used!"

Being used in a sense that, they appointed these people but never did anything. Still they have the nerve to tell the public its been taken care of.

I believe very much that the public cares about animal rights.
They also have the right to know that the food that their eating wasnt beat up to death, tortured, boiled in hot water ALIVE and they have the right to want their FOOD TO BE TREATED PROPERLY.

Haven't your mom taught you to not play with your food.

SHAME ON YOU KFC!

p.s would eat a chicken that i stomped to death, then fried deliciously? Would you still eat it knowing that?

Difference

2010-12-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

Give up, fed up.

In my case it wasn't me who gave up. Im fed up.
I made you happy every chance i got. Left my ways for a better relationship.

Ignored my instincts. Just focusing on you.
Eventhough everytime you slap me on the face with your mistakes.
Mistakes that are so huge,so unforgivable and it crushed me to bits.

Yet i walked forward, building myself.

Still i made you laugh, cared for you.

Still, you continued to slap me. Ridicule me. Never having my back.
You cower in that corner, and you just watched me.

YOU JUST WATCHED ME FIGHTING FOR MY OWN SELF RESPECT. THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING.

I stayed with you. In a way, i destroyed my own self respect deciding that.

Im fed up and for once, i see things clear now.

HOW SHOULD I HAVE ANY RESPECT IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO BETRAYED ME

If there is anything i'd hate with the utter most disgust, that would be a coward.
I wont stay with you just for the sake of not being lonely. Not anymore.

I've been alone since i entered this fucked up world. Im supposed to be like this i guess. There'll never be a happy ending for me. No happiness for me.

Coz everytime i have that, there will always be people who i have the worst words for that wants to take it away from me and mess it up for me.

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A FUCKED UP SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MAN, THAT WANTS TO RUIN THE LOVE I HAVE FOR A WOMAN. SINCE MY FIRST TILL NOW.

GOOD NEWS IS, I HAVE A REASON TO BUST THEIR ASS UP. STEP ON THEM LIKE THE DOG THEY ARE.

Who are you really?

2010-12-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

After you spend time living
Enough time figuring

You'll eventually come to a conclusion
The acceptance of who you truly are

It'll take awhile
A few scrapes
Some searching
Lots of thinking

But when your in that corner
When you see the faces that appear
And those that disappear
You know where you stand

You know who your friends are
You know who the traitors are
More importantly
You know who the fakes are

Spent sometime faking
Pretending

Now i stand knowing
Who i really am

The best feeling to have is
To know that you found where you belong
While everyone is searching blindly.

Only you can see
Everyone else is blind.

Uhh. Tag.

2010-12-05T20:30:00.001-08:00

1. Apa benda paling penting dalam hidup korang?
the soul

2. Benda terakhir korang beli guna duit sendiri?
makan

3. Dimana tempat korang nak melangsungkan perkahwinan korang dan tema perkahwinan korang nanti?
In a 5star hotel, theme could be anything

4. Adakah korang sedang bercinta sekarang?
Yup

5. Berapa lama korang akan mencintai kekasih korang?
I dont know

6. Dimana korang selalu jumpa kekasih korang?
everywhere

7. Novel/buku/majalah terakhir korang beli?
A magazine about martial arts

8. Apakah nama penuh korang?
Arshad Ahmad Mahmud

9. Antara mak dengan ayah korang, yang mana korang lagi mesra?
Dad

10. Namakan orang yang betul2 nak jumpa dalam hidup?
No one
11. Adakah korang basuh baju sendiri?
Yup

12. Di mana tempat yang korang betul2 nak pergi?
Mekkah

13. Pilih salah satu, peluk atau cium?
Kiss

14. Beritahu 3 perkara tentang orang yang tag korang?
Ili
1. Female
2. Intelligent
3. Cute

15. 5 benda yang korang sayang dalam hidup korang?
I dont know

16. 5 lagu korang suka dan selalu dengar?

i. ac/dc shoot to thrill
ii. ac/dc tnt
iii. ac/dc back in black
iv. ac/dc black ice
v. umm.. ntah

17. Bila Tarikh lahir korang dan korang sambut birthday kat mana tahun lepas?
27 may 91. i never celebrate my bday.

18. 7 orang blogger korang nak tag?
no one

19. Cerita sikit pasal blogger pertama korang tag?
Uhh, she's reading this. So, I dont wanna make her head grow.

Time

2010-12-01T19:19:00.000-08:00

Day to day
Breathing through time
Silently in one place

Missing out
As if something big is going on
Yet im just looking

As songs write themselves
Sing on their own
Reminiscing about something

Wishes and hopes
Wished and hoped
Yet too little are being lived out

Am i, the only one who cares?
Am i, the only one who's not afraid?

To show who i am
To stand for what is right

Too little
People who know themselves and are not afraid
To show it

Time takes away
A piece every day
No one really stays

Before i fade
May i actually mean to you
Someone that made you realize

Your great.

Me, i never knew.

2010-12-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

I dreamt of a puma a few days back.
It was black ofcourse. It roared at me, and the fangs i see.

Still fresh in my memory.

Just awhile ago i googled the picture
I came across the image
I looked at it and the feeling i get

Like looking at a mirror to my soul
One feeling i will never forget

Black like the night sky
The shine of its coat

Scars never do heal.

When the top shakes

2010-10-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

Being a teenager, growing out from stupidity and ignorance
I find myself meeting even more stupidity and ignorance. Within and more importantly without.

Seeing where i stand now, i am a follower. Living day by day, shaping my strength and honing my abilities and perfecting them to be used as an effective leader one day.

I could say with perfect belief, i learn from mistakes mostly made from other people.
At times i cant even believe what i am seeing. But knowing better, eventually i would.
Nothing is weird in this world.

Witnessing, your very own leader actually messing up. Realizing that they are the enemy. Lost in their greed for power and wealth. It would be wise to learn from them and not do the same.

Growing up, i developed a kind of hatred for injustice and oppression. A hatred that is very hard to vanish. Like an addicted drug. Growing up i developed this kind of mentality that people on top should be right and working hard to make themselves right so that they can lead the people below.

Growing up i developed this thinking;

The more you rise with those titles, its actually more RESPONSIBILITY to lead.
The wealth and respect are only illusions to the real thing.
But when you see is only wealth and respect, then you would have killed thousands below you. Heartless Mindless Murder.

Then comes the negative fact that;

THE MORE YOU RISE then THE HARDER YOU BOW

Ups and downs

2010-10-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

After another journey

I find myself at a better place.

After 3 days and nights

I find myself hard to sleep without her by my side

After all that

I find myself walking again

Continuing this path.

Mehh

2010-10-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

I dont know.

What should i say?

Too early for words.

Lets just see what happens.

Whispers from my devil

2010-09-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

FUCK YOU FOR SAYING I COULDNT GET ANY OTHER GIRL AND I SETTLED WITH YOU

FUCK YOU FOR DEGRADING ME WHEN I WAS UPGRADING YOU

FUCK YOU FOR LETTING ME BELIEVE THIS WAS REAL, YOU WERE REAL

FUCK YOU FOR ATTACKING ME WHEN MY GUARD WAS DOWN

FUCK YOU FOR BEING THE SOURCE OF MY HAPPINESS

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME BELIEVE ITS MY TIME TO BE HAPPY

Please.

2010-09-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

Im hurt. Again. Again. Again.

Facing the fact i have to distance myself after what you did when my heart yearns to be with you.

Why did you let me love you then just break me in two?

Im hurt. Again. Again. Again.

Dont let me make the final decision. Take me away from this pain.

Will you catch me the way i did you?

Im hurt. Again. Again. Again.

Please defend your own happiness, please save it, please cherish it, please take care of it. Dont take it for granted.

If i am your happiness.

Realize

2010-09-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Im starting to realize

You may not be the one
You may not be who i think you are
You may not be all that i hoped for

Im starting to see

It isnt my time yet
It isnt my place to have true love yet
It isnt my space to be filled yet

How could you.

U know im real. U know im real. U know im real.

Yet you deny me for your own satisfaction of what you want to hear. what you want to believe in.

How could you degrade me with those words. In a way, labeling me DESPERATE.
When you know who i am. How i lived.

Was i the only one believing it to be REAL?
All of this time. Was i the only one keeping FAITH. HOLDING ON?

No words i hear from you. No explanation i get from you.
NOTHING.

For in this final hour
I deserve words from you
I deserve explanations from you
I deserve an effort to make things right from you.

I dont know you anymore

2010-09-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

THE THING THAT HURTS THE MOST

YOU SPEAK AS IF YOU DONT KNOW ME ANYMORE

THE THING THAT HURTS EVEN MORE

I BELIEVED THAT YOU WERE UNDERSTANDING

I BELIEVED THAT YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE

I WAS WRONG.

THE THING THAT BREAKS ME

YOU BELIEVED THAT I ACTUALLY SAID I DONT NEED YOU

THE THING THAT BREAKS ME MORE

YOU SAID "DID YOU ASK ME TO BE YOUR GIRL BECAUSE YOU CANT GET ANYONE ELSE?"

THE THING THAT BREAKS ME TO THE CORE

ALL OF THE THINGS YOU SAID, ITS AS IF YOU REJECTED THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW ME.

Obviously

2010-09-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

I FUCKIN' OBVIOUSLY DID NOT FUCKIN' SAY I DON'T FUCKIN' NEED YOU.

IF I FUCKIN' DID

I'LL FUCKIN' REMEMBER!

Who's not to say that you heard me wrong?
You did that before!!

YOU HURT ME, BUT IF YOU REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT I TOLD YOU, SHOWED YOU, PROVED TO YOU

THEN YOU'D BE SMART TO NOT BELIEVE I SAID THAT

OR IF AND I MEAN IF I DID

THEN YOU'D BE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO BELIEVE I MEANT IT!

YOU HURT ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT EXACTLY IM TALKING ABOUT
YOU KNOW THE EXTENT OF YOUR DAMAGE ON ME
BUT WHATEVER SHIT THAT COMES, YOU KNOW I WONT HURT YOU THE WAY YOU DID ME
IF YOU TRULY KNOW ME, AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED
IF YOU STILL DONT THEN

You know you've HURT ME once more.

Wake up Alarm

2010-09-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Im a student.
Im 19 and counting.

Im living for the first time.

One morning i woke up. I came across a video.

It talked about the world, what is really happening to it.

Current events and wars, how it led up to it.

My whole life was a lie. What we are told was a huge lie.
I sat down, took it in. Im still stunned.

Why? I kept on asking.
Why would they lie to us. Why would they keep the truth from us??
What gives them the right to put us down for centuries??!

All of a sudden, i felt that i am part of something huge.
For the first time my heart really beat, for the first time i really started to live.

All that i did, the fun i had. It was all a lie.
What was once beautiful and inviting and fun, i started to see the harsh and ugly truth behind it all.

I stopped eating fast foods, I didnt care much for the shows i used to love on t.v.
I didnt even care about gettin lucky with girls.

I sat on my bed, still shocked from all the truth. I find myself believing it, and asking why. It all makes sense, it really does.

The emptiness i felt started filling in, i wanted more.
I want to know.

The next day, i woke up early in the morning. I find myself walking up to the mosque.
A place where once i didnt even cared much for it. A place that i thought wasn't of much importance.

I followed them in prayers. When everyone left, i stayed.
As i looked around, ALLAH s.w.t and Muhammad s.a.w catched my eyes.

I spoke ALLAH. Right at that moment, an unexplainable feeling surge through me.
Tears began pouring. I cried. For the 1st time, being 19 and crying.

All of the so called fun i had. Destroyed me.
I look at my hands, thinking how come. I was being tooled, being fooled.
Wanting so much, things that i dont need. As long as im happy, thats what mattered.
When it really didnt benefit me at all.

I go back to my religion, as i did i fill the emptiness slowly vanishing.
For once, i felt important. I felt i am part of something big.

For once, my life made sensed. For some, they thought i was being funny and going through a phase.

I pity them, i tried to tell them the truth i had found. That it also affected them.
That the life they led was a huge lie.

They laughed. Saying i was being obsessed with something.
I asked to myself, why and how can they be so blind?

I began to move to a different crowd.

I find myself being more intelligent, having the need for knowledge.
I find myself thinking at a higher level than people at my age think.
I find myself having a long term relationship. She makes me happy even more.
We seldom quarrel about big stuff. It was perfect.
My health, my wealth, my whole life was better.

I began seeing through their lies, through their acts.

I begin to see the reality of their appearance.

I begin to feel true happiness. Feeling that i've woken up from a long sleep.
God is the Only One i thanked.

Fact: We live in a world bound by laws. Religion and Reality are one and the same. Those who say religion and life are different, they are straying you away of the truth. We live in a world where religion explains all. From the very little things to the more important issues.
The solution to every problem in this world now is right infront of us. Search and you will know. Yet, beware. There are huge communities who wants us to continue playing along their lies and continue to be controlled by them.

Death Alarm

2010-09-24T07:17:00.001-07:00

Im a student.
Im 19
Im living in this world.

I watch tv, listen to music, eat my favorite fast foods.

At times i have a sense of belief what i see on tv, like drama and action and such is real. I get carried away.

I love having fun and can never have enough.
I love girls, especially the sexy and hot ones. Who doesnt? :D

At times when i'm fed up and sick of life, i drink my way outta it.
Getting wasted is a quick escape from my problems.

I'm lucky in the relationshp department but im single now. Girls come and go, so i dont really care.

Studies? Not much of a worry. What grades i get, it doesnt matter.
Money? No problem. Kinda blessed with it.

Talking about blessed, sometimes i see people doing religious stuff. I wonder why?
Islam, Christianity, Judaism. There all the same to me, but they fight with each other a whole lot. I dont need the drama.

So i choose not to care. My life is ok the way it is.

BUT. . .

I cant help feeling empty. I need something.

My Shoes Your Shoes

2010-09-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

I have this little ambition to write stories that compliments a child's fantasy.
The books that spark that ambition was from the author Roald Dahl. I am a fan.

Tom hid himself in the cover of the night. He sat down on the tiled roof of his house, as he watches the night sky.

He holds out his hands, imagining having the night sky in his hands. With a little breath, he rests his hands on the cold tiled roof.

Only a few moments after midnight, stars began shooting across the sky. Lighting up his eyes, a warm feeling flowed in.

Tom gazed at the stars across the sky. That one moment where he could enjoyed what he believed to be a miracle.

As he raised his hot chocolate filled cup as if a salute to the stars, a huge star lights up the sky.

For one minute it was day. Tom accidentally dropped the cup as he stood still to his amazement.

He could see his neighbors fast asleep. He could see cats lined up among the streets below his feet. He stares far and notices that a man just about to leave his house.

The star grew and grew until the whole neighborhood was lit up brightly.
Tom covered his eyes.

A strong gush went through his body, what happened next was a mystery.

The star grew so huge, the whole neighborhood was blinded.
The star passed and it was night.

Leaving everything to as it was. As for Tom, he was never seen again.
Only a cup and chocolate stained roof tiles was left where he last stood.

Here it comes

2010-09-19T23:16:00.000-07:00

It comes,
that passing moment
where all gathers

Growing to something better

It comes,
that energy flowing
running through my veins

Leaving all the weakness

Have i not told you,
I may fall
I may stray

Still, that point of me will never stay

Have i not told you,
I have seen
I have witness

The Everlasting Power that rules over us

I will never be fooled
I may not be tooled

I will move
I will prove

That i am here submitting my will
To The One
Forever still

Tumbling Down

2010-09-19T03:15:00.000-07:00

There was this girl
Her vision amongst the clouds
Her feet planted firm on the ground

There was this girl
Bad tidings for her good news is with her
Strength grows in her

Who is this girl
I am drawn to her
I am pulled towards her

Who is this girl
I cant fight it
My heart falls and she caught it

This is the girl
I love and cherish
I want and miss

This is the girl
I want to be with
Till time slows me down

Till my heart stops beating Till i don't breath.

I am with you
Loving your heart,mind and soul too
I always am

Let my guard down for you to see
I am pathetically falling for you
Years and years to come
At every moment at every second
Never stopping
And never ending, by your side i will be

The Chocolate Man

2010-09-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

Walking down the neighborhood
Where everyone lived
Everyone who thinks everyone who feels

Then came a truck
With a melody that struck
Everyone into a trance as they came out and glance

The Chocolate Man came again
With a warm smile and an entertaining voice
I was pulled in with what my eyes see, my heart couldnt understand

He handed people chocolate
They took it no matter the price
They love they worship they died

As i walk pass the truck
My eyes caught the door open
I took an innocent peek inside

I was horrified
By how the chocolate was created
By how the chocolate was treated

The man poisoned the chocolate
with chemicals and such
just to profit a bunch

As i see the harsh reality
No longer i'm being fooled
I realize how blind we can be

Can't they see
How slow they live?
How fast they die?

I turned around and stared
As more of The Chocolate Man came
With smiles and greeting

As they kill everyone willing.

Resolve

2010-09-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

After all that
All the hardwork
All the effort

I will continue to stand
No matter how they push me down
It might take some time

But i will still stand

Bittersweet

2010-09-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

The month of Ramadhan has passed and comes in Aidilfitri.

This ramadhan really opened my eyes to what is and what is not.
Appearance and reality do differ from one another.
I seeked and i got, now its my responsibility to keep.

Aidilfitri came as usual, for me it wasn't a happy one.
Just a normal occasion for me, i didnt feel all too happy.
Now everything returns as it should be.

I continue my work, my efforts, my struggle
to be the best i can be.
Facing my enemies head on, with a fierce push in everything i do.
Greeting my allies openly, with a warm manner in everything i do.

For those who make false truths, i will make them suffer and regret.
For those who uphold the truth, i will keep them happy and defend.

GOOD NEWS and BAD TIDINGS.

No more whiskey

2010-09-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

Im a fool to have fallen for you.
Im a fool to have fallen for your face.
Im a fool to believe your face.

For whats beautiful outside NEVER EVER IS inside.
It seldom is.

I needed time to believe.
I needed time to see the truth.
I needed time to wake up.

To see the truth from your appearance.
You are actually ugly. Ugly in every sense of the word.

How foolish was i to have follow you
How foolish was i to have listened to you
How foolish was i to have changed for you

For love accepts a person whole. Never trying to change a person to make them seem better than the rest.
I was and still am, but it wasnt enough for you.

Then you betrayed me.

The thing is, you pushed me to do this, to achieve that.
But you are nothing, you cant even achieve a single thing.
Your no good for me, your not even up to my standards.

Now i see, that you are nothing.
Just another face.

You want a perfect boyfriend, but your not even close to perfection.

Now im with someone much more better.

She has the face
She has the heart
She has the mind
She has the faith

That is TRUE beauty. Perfect.

Certainly

2010-08-31T15:16:00.000-07:00

One thing im certain.

WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS.

Trying

2010-08-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

I try

searching finding. Who am i?

I try

love and not get hurt. Why?

I try

be faithful and not think of the past. Can i?

I try.

I bought the wrong pair.

2010-08-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not bragging
I'm not saying i'm all that

I'm just telling it as it is.

You know how i am
You know what i did

You know i'll never leave you and love you for you.

I never ask much
I never expect much

Just knowing you'll love me is enough.

You say you've been hurt
You say you have wounds

Let me heal them.

Now you say your healed
Now you say im different from them

Now you know that i meant every word.

I know i said i wanted to look forward
I know what i said

I tried to, but i cant. It haunts me.

You weren't there when i needed you
You ran away, shut your mouth

You left me alone with your problems and it became mine.

How could you.

Why.

Can I trade?

2010-08-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

The past few days has been a disaster for me.
Destroying myself is punishment enough.

Its as if i cant stop this addiction.
I keep thinking of it. I wonder how many have prayed for me.

For now i see, how strong it is.
Can i trade it for another?
One where it gives me benefit?

When you wanna change
When you wanna stop
That bad addiction

It never is easy. Usually whats bad feels so good.

A view for the sake of blood rush

2010-08-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

Applying what you have learned is not an easy task.

Once you can,

Your the best fighter there is.

Watching them, makes me more determined and excited.
I wonder could they do that in a real situation?
Or is it just for show.

What makes you a better fighter?

When you can use at WILL what you have LEARNED.

When your brain says SLEEP

2010-08-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

A fun night, with so many wins.

Im content for the moment thinking bout many things for a short while.

5th month of it has passed, 5 months since we knew each other and 5 months since we trust each other.

I cant have poetry, when my mind is so messy.
So this is all it says right now

SLEEP

On the library floor

2010-08-15T02:12:00.000-07:00

On this floor i am
Sitting with a note book in my hand
Fingers rushing through and through

As my thoughts still grew and grew.

On this floor i am
Bearing this headache as well as i can
Too many thoughts or less are my thoughts

Somethings are always based on reason.

On this floor i am
I begin to see with my eyes
I continued to understand with my mind

Something is wrong i can feel the pain.

On this floor i am
tomorrow comes as always
Except now its starting to turn grey.

Have i gone back to the place that i hate?

On this floor i am
Once again i see success but not with my own hands
I begin to dive in

A sea of sorrow, what else is there to be said.

On this floor i am
Waiting for that turning point
Where i can set myself straight

Let me reach that place where i can't hate.

Chicken Soup for the Tummy

2010-08-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

Babe, please.
Don't get all worked up about something both of us can't avoid and that is?

MY BLOODY PHONE IS BLOODY FUCKED UP.

Babe, please.
Don't get the wrong idea and dont forget and that is?

I WANT YOU TO TEXT AND CALL ME BUT MY BLOODY PHONE IS BLOODY FUCKED UP.

Babe, please.
Don't throw your frustration on me cause it just doesn't make sense when?

I FINALLY CALLED YOU CAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK TO ME AND MY BLOODY PHONE IS BLOODY FUCKED UP.

Babe, please.
I miss you always more than you'll ever know so then?

BE FUCKIN GRATEFUL AND HAPPY WHEN I CALL COZ BEING LIKE THAT MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU'VE WAITED FOR A FUCKIN LONG TIME TO GET A HOLD OF ME.

Babe, please.
I love you deeply and madly and dont try to not text me and call me cause?

THAT'LL ONLY MAKE ME SAD AND FEEL BAD CAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE YOUR CARING SELF PLUS I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CARE ALOT.

But babe, still please understand.

MY BLOODY PHONE IS BLOODY FUCKED UP.

ps. i hope thats clear enough for you baby. I fuckin love you madly deeply. So dont get the wrong idea okay?? pfft. seriously wanna drown you in kisses right now.

Mismatched shoes.

2010-08-07T05:06:00.000-07:00

Had a great time today, watched movies and such.
Got a little naughty and maybe a little too much.

Then, in the middle of all that excitement;
Just for an instant, one quiet moment;
I felt as if time stood still and my mind went supernova.

Thoughts rushes through and that feeling of guilt suddenly bleeds in.
I started to wonder will i do this forever?

That strange feeling that your not suppose to experience this and that because its not your time yet. That strange feeling, as if being sprung forth to the future.

To me it is strange. Im a superstitious guy.
I believe people suffer and go through hardships now just to have a great and easy life in the end.

Realizing in that instant, i'm torn apart by two sides of me.
One to have fun and not give a fuckin' care in the world and another to stop and start thinking and take responsibilities and act mature.

Both sides i wanna fulfill, so where do i stand?

As days pass by, i feel myself being changed into the responsible me.

I have no regrets, cause i believe that it'll pay off in the end.

In the end.

Then a new beginning.

One phone call and wild sex

2010-08-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

So i went home this weekend. Gonna have a good rest at home, see my family, have a few laughs, talk and stuff.

Went back with a friend of mine, and i laughed so hard all the way back to KL.
Damn you Shafiq. =.=

So, tomorrow i'll be going out with Ili again. Miss her lots, and its been awhile since i went out and had some fun. Staying in campus, all my time was used for studying.

Past few days, my minds been wired in books and sex. What the hell, i've been having fantasies and such. Seriously, i could do without the horniness. (is that how u spell it?)

Maybe its just a test of heart and mind, still it would be great to keep a straight mind. I got tests next week, gotta study for that.

I seriously wanna be somebody important when i get out of university. Seeing all the shit happening around the world, i cant help feeling that i could really do something about it. If more people were to think this way, won't the world be a better place?

That aside, i would like to take this opportunity to thank all the hot and sexy girls out there. Your effort and sacrifice to take care of your health and body is recognized and appreciated all over the world.

Thanks for being so beautiful.

Cheese crackers in my pockets

2010-08-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes change just happens without any warning, without any agreement.
It just comes and sticks until it becomes a part of you.

Until It isn't even a thing.

For me, i've always wanted to be hardworking, to finish my work weeks before the deadline. The feeling of accomplishment and relaxation after some hard work is addictive.

Now, i am like that. I changed smoothly and the sense of accomplishment is a drug to me now.

Realizing each day that i just gotta wake up from this trance and work.
Finish this and finish that and in the end a very very sweet reward in places unexpected.

When i tried to see things in another point of view, you tend to do stuff which are at first would be such a drag but now it's something you just gotta do to be in cloud 9 or something.

Plainly, assignments are such a drag. But try to look at Albert Einstein's point of view, its something sweet and interesting and its gotta be done now if not its gonna stink you up in the last possible minute.

Bit by bit my blogging habit is coming back. Missed it alot.

It all falls together for an instant

2010-08-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

Lust

2010-08-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

Something that's so hard to keep down and contain.

More when you really appreciate and love women.

How beautiful and pure their existence is.

I may keep a low profile, that hot nerd (so i am told)

But i do have urges, its just that...

I have a noble self in me. To chase women here and there is not me.

I dont chase, i embrace what comes.

Taking care of her in every perfect way i can.

Lets learn words

2010-08-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

I already made plans this saturday with Ili.
Now i got info that i have TESTS this saturday!

WHATTHEHECKSHITPIGPORNKINGKONG'SBITCHINBASTARDLYFUCK!!!!!???

=.=

Now, im reluctant to stay back. I could help Ma'm with her debate group but still.
I HAVE FREAKIN TESTS on a SATURDAY!

Its the last week before fasting. Being an naughty devil i am now, i wanna do lots of things and eat lots of stuff before the fasting month kicks in.

Coz then i wouldnt even have the heart to do bad stuff on Ramadhan. Its a special month, very pure.

At the very last sentence, that saying comes again;

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. (and its always for a pretty damn good reason)

As the past rises and presents itself

2010-08-03T04:21:00.000-07:00

Hey Blog. Its been awhile since i told you anything. Much has happened this past few months. Too much perhaps. Let me make it easy for you to understand

Events:

- Had a relationship with my best friend
- Happy moments
- Second Semester ended
- Problem arises with a fuckin bastard in it.
- I was made the enemy because of a betrayal from someone i trust.
- I dealt with it myself. Me alone, dealt with all the problems head on.
- Kicked ass and humiliated my enemy. TWICE.
- Started fresh with my love one. Put the short past behind us.
- Realized that fights will always come to me.
- Accepted that i am a fighter.
- Obsession with martial arts started to rise in me.
- Taking care of my body. What i eat when i eat. Drinking lots of water.
- Working hard to be stronger spiritually, mentally, physically.
- Focusing on my education and my passion for fights.

That is a long story made short.

Oh yeah, i wanna save GAZA.
I have a new idol; Ehsan Shafiq.
I wanna try out for Mixed martial arts tournaments.

Im back

2010-08-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

Im back and breathing

The opposite of your perception

2010-03-31T09:39:00.000-07:00

Honestly, its your choice
Reality is not preferable
But being true is always nice

You know deep inside
Try to see yourself in the spotlight
Rather than backing instead

Its the journey not the destination
Exits are another end to begin anew
If you dont go for it
Experience you'll know is such a few

I want you to take me in when it ends
Wake up and begin
Gravity is an excuse
Knowing that put yourself to good use

A fiery bird dies
Turns to ash for a few seconds
Bursting alive in glory once again
Have you forgotten the Phoenix Law I once said?

Moonlight catches me, Im in a trance
Staring at it, then a glance
Notice that every dark, there is a light

Sky ablaze by the sun
Wondering if anyone miss perceive
People complain, still its purpose it believes

The sky stays high
Clouds grew heavy
Rain cleanse misguided perceptions
Open up, it did bring salvation

Send me a beer and a postcard

2010-03-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

This is a part of the blog where i dont go all fancy and stuff.

Got no ideas rite now, i've fallen sick. Really sick.
Its due to dehydration, and a flu. ;)

With all the things to come, time did actually stop for me.
Juz for a moment though, long enough to enjoy my time with her.

Cheers for ya babe, you really amaze me.
Of all the girls i've been with, im fuckin proud to call you MY GIRL.

We had our moments. Romantic,cute,lovely,wild and sexy. ;)

After that, i came back to college with a case of the flu and a fever thats coming.
Now i feel so wasted. x)

I really didnt know it would exhaust me after a while, i felt kinda fine before.
Thing is, im dehydrated. Didnt drink enough at the time. Big mistake.

Well, it seems like im recovering after tons of water and a couple of panadol with a sip of 100 plus.

My studies are going well, im almost done covering all the topics. No problems for now. Still, im worried and i'll keep out an eye for quizzes and tests.

Finals is just around the corner. My car is parked at the corner. -.-

When can i get u darn it.

So, thats all i have to blab about. oh yeah, much love for you Ili Liyana *kisses n hugs*

Love in my bedroom

2010-03-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

Dim down the lights, tear down the curtains
Let the moon shine in

As i see you there smiling, i'll come to you
A kiss a warm hug

We're making love in my bedroom.

I see you smile, shy for awhile
Let you know i love you and you say it too

I feel your heart beating, fast but pacing
You let yourself go, i've never seen that sensual side of you

We're making love in my bedroom.

Golden shine its the sun, as i wake up im stunned
The way you look while your asleep, makes me fall even deep

Moments shared,memories made
That special part to cherish will never fade

As i remember that special tale;

We're making love in my bedroom.

A fresh start

2010-03-22T19:32:00.001-07:00

How long has it been? Since i actually could smile.
smile for real this time.

Im thankful everyday i wake up and when i go to sleep.
Thankful that i've met her at last. Can she be anymore perfect?? xD

I feel stronger, with it i have to focus on.
I gotta tackle my studies and gain more knowledge as i go by.

Learn new things day by day, and i will fulfill tht wish.
To become somebody one day.

To become that somebody who inspires good in people.
Inspire change and peace.

With all the corruption in this world.
Systems being used for their own personal use.

No matter how hard the waves crash or how high the mountains are.
I'll go through it, overcoming it, taming it.

So that one day, the next generation will be a better one.
The next generation will be the start of change.

Time is the matter, in time everything will come to place.
Right now i just have to play my part as a student.

Growing from there to the top of our society.
Watch me GOD, guide me, teach me.

Give me the weapon and i'll give YOU victory.

Hello Bedroom

2010-03-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hello bedroom,
its been awhile, i came to cry

Hello bedroom,
do u see me smile? i guess my heart didnt really die

Hello bedroom,
forgive me for the sorrow ive put in here.
let me pull down the curtains and throw away the fear.

You see, i found her.
Someone who makes me whole.

When i've lost all hope and given up on life.
She came.

It was hard in the beggining.
But my heart told me to be strong and fight.

My heart that once died, came alive juz at the sight of her.
Is this what true love is?

I am to excited and happy to even calm down and think.
I am in the moment.

I've been given strength and with it i'll fulfill my promise to be great as humanly possible.

Hello Bedroom,
Its me again, smiling and let me light up this place.

Hello Bedroom,
Here i stand, strong and high, challenges i am ready to face.

INSPIRE

2010-01-31T14:59:00.000-08:00

It is the end for January. As I enter the 2nd month, I noticed that the moon has been very beautiful the past few days. As I stare upon the moon; I see that even in the darkest corners of the world, there is light.

The night sky is a reflection of what is happening to us on earth.
I am born in the darkest of times, yet still light shines. Glowing as strong so that those who seek the path, may be able to find it.

Somehow, even I am lost. After a little quarrel, and a feeling of un- fulfillment. It led me down, it led me to become un-inspired.
Right now, I don’t have something I need. I just don’t know, I don’t want to get a reason. All I know is that I want to achieve, yet I’ve been slacking off the past few weeks.
She is not a problem anymore, it happened so im juz moving on.
I have a much more interesting life. Plus, she does not reflect of who I am inside. Im not drawn to her, even from the beginning. I was just attracted to her because of other needs. It was pathetic.

For now, I’ll be watching and learning. Waiting for my time to come, the right time to strike.

I can't sleep

2010-01-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

Its almost the end of January.
Tonite is friday's night.

I tried to sleep at 2.30
But im still wide awake
Thoughts grew many and flew by me

My heart suddenly aches
As i imagine that someone i loved
Someone new
Was lovin me to sleep

It's something pathetic
Being controlled by weaknesses
That one feeling, Alone.

I felt fed up
I went out of bed
Now here i am

Pouring my heart out instead.

2o1o

2010-01-07T03:36:00.001-08:00

Its a new year.
A fresh start, and i could forget what was.
But its those things that made me grow day by day.

Welcoming this new year, i experience lots of stuff.
Bad and good. Truth of things. How its sad and unfair.

Loss of humanity in us.

These things reminds me of what will come next.
Coz its juz repeating itself.

No change, no similarities. Repeating over and over.

Hope that this year, isn't a waste of time.

Life is precious eventhough it hurts. Don't miss it when it goes away.

December

2009-12-08T20:43:00.000-08:00

A year is coming to an end.
Another page is flipped.

Much has happened.
Much has changed.

Learn from it.
Learn by it.

Rain comes and goes.
It stops.

Lets end it with a smile.

:)

Mira.

2009-12-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

He thought it was easy to forget.
He tought he moved on.

But moving on without a reason is painful.
He wants her back.

This feeling.
Eats up inside.

His empty.

Im disgusted with his weakness.

Don't be like Adam.

Found her

2009-11-28T18:07:00.000-08:00

Its funny how after all the girls u got with, the first crush u can never get over with.

After years of separation, i found her.

Now, what will happen next?

When ur strong, ur neutral.

2009-11-09T00:40:00.000-08:00

This is boy.
Boy changed again.

He was sick before.
The pain was death-like.
Now he doesnt feel it.

This is boy.
Boy got stronger.

He didn't feel anymore.
He couldn't care.
Coz he didn't

This is boy.
Boy is fed up.

They are all the same.
Dont deserve to be treated well.
Treat them of wht they are worth.

This is boy.
Boy now knows.

Being stronger is to be neutral.
Care less about things.
Dont would only make u sick.

It's trivial, take it and let it go
take it and let it go
take it and let it go.

Alone and cold.

2009-11-04T09:40:00.001-08:00

We all have been here.
The endless cold, torturing loneliness.

Such pain
Such sorrow

Tired of it, the feeling that hurts.
I learn to become strong.
To ignore the pain.
To not care.

Such pain
Such sorrow

Broken apart, my childhood from me.
Making it harder for me to accept.
Others who have them.
But acts as if they have seen worse.

Such pain
Such sorrow

Beautiful face, is clouded with uglyness.
Heart clouded with hate.
Even with all the beauty and perfection.
No eyes will notice.

Such pain
Such sorrow

I wait for something to come.
Faith that it will end.
As weak as it may be.
Faith is all i have left.

Complications. U make me sick

2009-11-02T19:48:00.001-08:00

Fullstop? What does it do?
It stops the sentence right there in direct meaning and in secret meaning.
So, if there is a sentence and it stops but no fullstop?
Means the direct meaning stops but the secret meaning to it adds up and goes on.

So with that, i start.

Complications. U make me sick

When boy meets girl.

Each just wanting to be good friends.

In time they become best friends.

Girl meets with alot of problems

Her name becomes known infamously and famously

People are envious and some just hate her for being perfect.

In truth she's just normal wanting to be the best.

Boy hears alot of stories, wanting to believe and wanting not.

He keeps quiet.

Gurl finds another friend to be with her in her time of need.

Boy gets jealous and confused with his feelings towards girl

They keep quiet from each other.

After sometime, they escape from all of it.

They gathered again after a long holiday and separated again.

Each in search of their own future.

Girl contacted boy

They were ok.

They forgive each other

They build their relationship once more.

It wasn't as strong as before

They met up one day.

Boy didnt realized tht he showed signs

Girl was confused.

Boy didnt realize he liked girl and it shows.

Girl realized and liked boy aswell

The day ended and they walk their own way.

Girl contacted boy

They talked.

Boy suddenly realized tht he liked girl.

But didnt know what to do

Girl made it easy, she confessed.

Boy still didnt know what to do

Girl quickly said "I wont force u,its not fair for me or u.Maybe its nothin"

Boy said "yeah, maybe time is good for now"

They stopped.

Girl kept in touch with boy but kept it brief.

Boy suddenly grew apart from girl.

At last, girl was left alone. Girl kept quiet.

After some time the relationship went quiet.

Suddenly one day, girl got over boy.

Girl juz wanted to be friends.

They contacted and boy didnt want it.

So girl said "Is something wrong? I feel like we're in a cold war or sumthin.If ur worried tht i'll get all lovestruck on u then dont worry. We're juz friends and thats all tht matters. K?"

Boy didnt reply.

Now boy is quiet and girl is fed up.

Girl keeps quiet and doesnt care anymore

What happens to boy doesn't concern girl anymore.

Girl achieves and achieves in life continuing her story without boy anymore.

You are my Life

2009-10-21T04:58:00.000-07:00

There was a boy.
Boy saw people.

People are arrogant and selfcentered.
People are bad and not nice.
People are hipocrits and not friendly.
Boy thought to himself.

One day, boy spoke. boy meet. boy entertained.
People smiled. People laughed.
Boy was shocked and affected.
Boy stopped.

I am arrogant. I am selfcentered.
I act therefore i am. Eventhough i am not.
I show to protect myself. But im hurting myself.

People need to be approached. People need to be smiled at.
People need to be shown kindness. They will give kindness.
Boy corrected himself.

Boy learned a lesson.
A big lesson for a small boy.

deeper conversation

2009-10-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

she did it in a way that caught me off guard.
did she even realize that she is doin it?
play with emotions, its a game between me n her.
then when it comes to something more than a game...

she retreats.

I guess i won. but our friendship lost.
I won, but victory wasn't as sweet as it used to be.

Untitled

2009-10-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

I try to run from it
I try to keep away from it
I try to ignore it

But it's juz a part of me, that is me.
I am lonely.

Its been this way forever.
Its something that i give and i get.
Its my nature, who i am.

But i never thought it to be true.
I was meant to be lonely.

It's not sommething that makes me sad.
It's not something that makes me glad.
It's not something to take seriously about.

But it hurts sometimes, even more when im weak.
I can be stronger from it.

Now, it's juz something thats not important to me.
People come and go as they like. Im better on my own.
Families break and never return. Something that ive always been good at.
Being who i am.

A week before raya.

2009-09-13T16:20:00.001-07:00

Well, the past few days have been quite a ride.
Ups and downs, back and forth. Then it will all come back to the same place.
Hmm, finished my tests with some drama tht happened. Fuck them.
After all that, i dnt have the spirit to go for my classes.
Juz thinkin about what happend makes me hate this place even more.
I think other people got it better. You actually can see how narrow minded older ppl here can be. No wonder we can't grow. Fuck tht anyways, im still in my teens. Ive other stuff to worry bout than those zombies.
Rambut dah pendek ag. >:( fuck3
minggu ni ntah la pe nak jadi.
Perut tgh sakit. Its 7.25 in the morning and im gettin myself ready for the day.

I just found out.

2009-09-10T14:46:00.001-07:00

10/09/09
This day, i found out something.
Something that maybe the sole purpose of why im here in the first place.
As a grow, i find my place being brought up to a higher seat.
Something that requires much more responsibility and dedication.
A leader.
I found out, that the ONE thing that really pisses me off is,
a leader full of ego and a narrow mind.
she/he acts as if they have the authority to do whatever they want. Not even realizing that what they do actually will not achieve what they really want.
Easily blinded by mere anger.
These kinds of people are meant to be hated.
I'll learn from them, and one day i'll show them how they are wrong in every way.
I will ridicule them. I am not easily forgiving. Until to their graves i'll mock and ridicule them. Coz of what they did, they deserve to be treated as such.
and the 2nd thing i found out is, what u think maybe so great, doesn't always turn out to be.

A little deep into me

2009-09-09T14:46:00.001-07:00

Im a child of May.

* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves travelling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

A day in my life.

2009-09-07T22:00:00.001-07:00

-Woke up in the morn
-took a bath
-got ready and went for the test i had today

After tht i got back to my apartment and studied for the test tommorow.
to be continued..

Bermula la suatu kisah

2009-09-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

Bila malas sudah menyerang

2009-09-06T17:23:00.001-07:00

1.Bgun tido
2.mandi
3.laptop smpai buka.

What is it?

2009-09-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

A creature was born on the day of 27th.
It was wild and it kept screaming and kicking when it was born.
After a few years it grew into a big creature.
It witnessed the other animals that were living in the same place as it.
Each of the animals had its specialty.
But the creature envied the lion and the wolf.
The lion is charismatic,well known and trustworthy. The creature wanted to be just like it. While the wolf is more known and has many friends than the creature could ever have. The creature wanted to be like it aswell.
But the wolf was lacking in faith. While the lion was brought up in a well-mannered family.
The creature thought, it could never be the lion because the creature had a broken family. It could never be the wolf because the creature believed in faith eventhough it didnt know well.
Now, what should the creature do?
What is the creature?

-Ash

People.

2009-08-31T22:46:00.000-07:00

Skul after skul and now University.
Lots of people ive encounter. Many characters.
The truth, lots of them are hateful and only some are okay with and only a little tht are likeable.

In skul you'll find people tht "being bad is the greater good"
In University.. well here you'll see people tht " I wanna show tht im good, but actually im not."
People like this are people i hate more than the ones tht actually act bad.
People who knows how to be themselves are likable people, but those who loves to act as sumone else are juz the kinds id love to bash all day long.
Tch, why do they have to be so dumb?
Entah la.

Its 1.51 and im relaxing . Finished lectures at 12.3o.
Lepas ni solat then take a nap.
Mlm nt x tido lagi.. ^_^

-Ash

2009-08-31T16:35:00.000-07:00

Wtf, i've a hole on my door!

Waitin' In the mornin'

2009-08-31T16:30:00.001-07:00

6.40 am
Went for a shower. Dried up and wore boxers and relax on bed.
Calmed my mind and try to think of little stuff.
Was so relaxed coulda dozed off.
Now im just being random on stuff, blogging and finding pics to share to the world.
tryin to decide where my future stands.
And now its. . .

7.34 am

Life unwritten.

Back to One.

2009-08-31T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, my 1st test is coming. It's tht time again where i gotta work hard and score the best i can. Him, after all thats happen.. i feel my soul burnin out.
Im not excited to be here, im starting to become lazy. This is not good.
*Sigh, im startin to feel depressed while writing this and listening to jet look what you've done. On the other side i still have her on my mind, gives me a smile once awhile. :)
Hmm, bila la aku nak semangat balik ni.. Anyone ? Got a solution to my prob.

Balek ke campus, then mandi..
Turned on the shower and filled the bathtub. As i sit at the side, i thought about the rainbow tht appeared at my feet a few weeks back. Then my mind wondered off to many things tht happened to me. My breath comes slowly, and my finger felt the tip of the cold water. I stopped.
After a few mins, i dived in the tub and lay there while the cold water soothes me.
*Sigh, I closed my eyes and wondered again.
My house was the same as it was, suddenly i missed the place. Miss my friends tht used to hang out wit me, and my family. Missed how we used to be.
Then my mind dove into the past, it was hurtful. Everytime i think of it, i bleed.
I opened my eyes, try to get away from it. Looked around and came back to reality.
i finished up, and got ready.

# # #
Its already 5.03 am, i didnt sleep the whole nite.
Lots of stuff to do, and i couldnt sleep. I feel empty, maybe becoz not talking to her makes me feel this way.Its amazing how little things can make u entirely happy.
Im not tired at all. But then again, things are just happening so fast. I would like to just stop time. Relax for a few and take a breather.
Hmm, today's another day. Wonder how it will turn out.
oh yeah, im startin to miss her. alot.

-Ash

^_^

2009-08-28T00:39:00.000-07:00

Rmember when we were still kids, and we would want the most simple of things.
We would go crazy if we didnt get it, and when we get it we shut up.
xD
But it changes when we grow, now we're more like "I can wait, yeah i can." But in ur heart ur so eager tht u can scream. Then we find ingenous ways to get it. When we do get it, we smile and feel happy. Not shuttin up but more like screamin or laughing or juz plain dancing.
For some it might get old, but for sum its always a new experience.
Thts the thrill of it. =)
Im grateful of what my life has to offer.
Its magical.

-Ash

Blurbing

2009-08-25T10:47:00.001-07:00

Bosan, seriously.
All of my work done and assignments done. I just dont know wht to do.
Rite now in my head is thinking bout her. Hurmm, sumthing bout her tht makes me tied up. Apart from tht im tryin to gain new skills. Like writing wit my left hand.
Its almost ok but still gotta work on it. Badan pun dah makin kurus.. Tak terkejut la, coz one thing tht i knw but my body is tht dia cpt naik cpt turun.
Having a great time at UiTM, but still social stuff comes in the way.
The usual la. hmm, I cant wait to get to knw her la. Seriously, The weird thing is im drawn to her just by lookin at her.. ~_~ maybe she cast a spell on me. This doesnt happen to me. But now it does. So mainly im writing bout my crush tht i have on her. Hmm.. Miss my friends and the times we had. Miss my family and the others tht made me smile.

So this is all io can write i guess coz im beggining to be distracted. ~_~
See ya azfar zick faiz and the others tht may read this crap.

Im boreddd

2009-08-25T08:10:00.001-07:00

Hari ni bgun sahur cam biasa, mkn puas2.
Pagi2 mmg ada selera, so i always look forward to sahur! =D
Hmm, pastu gi kuliah account and got my quiz results. Did very well, another step to my 4flat. =)
Pastu ada kuliah management, ada quiz. it was ok.
Then went back to my apartment, letak brg2 smua siap2 thennnn landing time!
Tidooo ^_^
bgun dlm kul 3.15, solat zohor.. Aku jahat2 gak tapi bulan puasa kte sesama mengingat yeee.. Hidup skali je nak kumpul pahala, lepas ni takde ag peluang. So kumpul la bnyak, letak dalam beg ke baldi ke tu pun kalau la bnyak amalan yg korang buat. Sbb nanti nak bwk time kita dah nak pergi ah. Bye2 world. Tu smua crite nanti laa. Bukan skrng, skrng ni aku juz kasi gmbaran je. =0
Hmm, lepas solat zohor aku pun mengon9 diriku melalui my baby.
One thing i noticed is, she is not on when i am. Hmm... Agak sedih la. Really wanted to knw her better. Hmm,I wonder la.
Until now asyik bukak profile dia je, aku dah mcm budak2 lak.
I dont usually act this way, im the kind tht juz relaxes. But sumthin bout her juz pulls me in. ~_~

-Ash

In love again?

2009-08-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

Im beggining to have that feeling again. The feeling where ur just having emotions running through ur body. Feelings of excitement and sadness,happiness and all of that in one time. Its like a roller-coaster. All that, is when i have the feeling.
Being in love again. This time, her name is the same as my first crush. Very ironic isnt it? ive faced this many times before, still i dont know how should i react to this situation. Im trying my best to keep it cool,but excitement urges me not to.
=)

Im mellow?

-Ash

1st day puasa

2009-08-22T03:27:00.000-07:00

Muke ari ptame puase. Ni mmg muke puasa, so jgn pandai2 ckp aku tak pose eh?

waa, dah lama x rase cmni. Rindu btol bila perut mula menyanyi dan buat show sekali.
Bila mulut dah mula mghasilkan air terjun yg tak terhingga. Bila mata slalu steam je.
haha, I love these moments, it reminds me that im alive. =D
kejap ag dah nak buka dah, rase mcm laju jew. haha alhamdulillah.
Aku buka kat kpg untuk ari pertama, so meriah gak la. Skrng diorang dah nak hbs masak masak dah. Bau nasi ayam kuat memeluk hidungku. =F
Selamat berbuka everyone!

Puasa

2009-08-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

This month, is the time where i finish my change into someone i want to be.
No more fooling around, its juz me n the future.
I'll have lots of battles to fight.
The only enemy left is me.

Selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan.
MAy u find wht ur looking for. =)

Truth was always there. We are blind.

2009-08-17T23:08:00.001-07:00

The Amazing Facts of Quran
Check this out, very interesting findings of Dr. Tariq Al Swaidan might grasp your attention:

Dr.Tarig Al Swaidan discovered some verses in the Holy Qur'an that mention one thing is equal to another, i.e. men are equal to women.

Although this makes sense grammatically, the astonishing fact is that the number of times the
word man appears in the Qur'an is 24 and number
of times the word woman appears is also 24, therefore not only is this phrase
correct in the
grammatical sense but also true mathematically, i.e. 24 = 24.

Upon further analysis of various verses, he discovered that this is
consistent throughout the whole Qur'an, where it says one thing is like
another. See below for astonishing result of the words mentioned number of
times in Arabic Qur'an:
Dunia (one name for life) 115. Aakhirat (one name for the life after this world) 115
Malaika (Angels) 88 . Shayteen (Satan) 88
Life 145 .... Death 145
Benefit 50 . Corrupt 50
People 50 .. Messengers 50
Eblees (king of devils) 11 . Seek refuge from Eblees 11
Museebah (calamity) 75 . Thanks 75
Spending (Sadaqah) 73 . Satisfaction 73
People who are mislead 17 . Dead people 17
Muslimeen 41 . Jihad 41
Gold 8 . Easy life 8
Magic 60 . Fitnah (dissuasion, misleading) 60
Zakat (Taxes Muslims pay to the poor) 32 . Barakah (Increasing or blessings of wealth) 32
Mind 49 . Noor 49
Tongue 25 . Sermon 25
Desite 8 . Fear 8
Speaking publicly 18 . Publicising 18
Hardship 114 .... Patience 114
Muhammed 4 . Sharee'ah (Muhammed's teachings) 4
Man 24. Woman 24

And amazingly enough have a look how many times the following words
appear:

Salah 5, Month 12, Day 365,
Sea 32, Land 13

Sea + land = 32+13= 45

Sea = 32/45*100=71.11111111%
Land = 13/45*100 = 28.88888889%
Sea + land =100.00%

Modern science has only recently proven that the water covers 71.111% of the
earth, while the land covers 28.889%.

Is this a coincidence?

Question is that Who taught Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) all this?

Reply automatically comes in mind that ALMIGHTY ALLAH taught him this. As
the Qur'an also tells us this.

Please pass this on to all your friend and Muslims you know.

Aayah 87 of Suraa (Chapter) Al-Anbia .. para 17:

LA ILAHA ILA ANTA SUBHANAKA INI KUNTU MINA ZALIMEEN.

again??

2009-08-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

One thing in my life i noticed is, im the target of human jealousy.
Its like i have a target bib on me. At some point, im tired of all this and feel like bashing their heads so they can die and get the fuck out of my life. People like them dont deserve to even breathe. I worked hard for what i have and you have no right to be jealous or make my life harder than it already is. if you want it then work for it jackass. But there is a point where i feel its just a part of life and no matter how i hate it i just have to take it in and pray they'll get theirs in return. I dont knw why, ive been nice to them and try even harder to be nice everyday. Eventhough its not in my nature to be nice to bastards and bitches. But still its the same. Sometimes i hide my talents from the public. But then it will be a waste to me. I keep on reminding myself the words my closest friend told me(ZIKRI)
"Fuck what others think" and "Be nice to people and in return they'll be nice to you. Maybe not now, but they will." Rite now, im just gonna shine like there's no tommorow. Those who wanna be jealous can go ahead. Waste ur time being jealous of me, coz the time u wasted could be used to improve urself. So, either way... U LOSE.

All in my mind?

2009-08-15T03:55:00.000-07:00

-Smlm tak tido
-Tido kul 7 smpai 3ptg
-Bgun mandi pergi beli mkn. Mkn.
-Online smpai 6.57
-Bukak blog, tulis apa yg tersirat.
-Bukak youtube dgr lagu.
-Fikir2 lagi cara2 untuk perbaiki diri.
-Hilang mood sebab malam ada program yang menyusahkan diri.

Ever wonder what are people's thoughts?
Ever ask urself when walking down the street, "i wonder what she's/his thinking?"
Well, some people think stuff randomly. Like a million thoughts being thought about in one time.
SO being random is very normal.
So i'm gonna be so random now. Coz im feeling lots of stuff tht makes me think bout lots off stuff.
Randomness can be understood, and when u understand u can find out what that person stands for.

"Saying i love you, is not the words i want to hear from u. its not that i want to.
how easyyyyy.. more than wordsss... is all u have to do to make u real
Than u wouldnt have to say... that u love me?? coz i already knowwww~~ what would u do if my heart was torn in 2. More than wordsss.. What would u say, if i took those words away.. than u couldnt make things new just by sayin i love~ mOre than words..
Sumtimess.. ifeel like it would happen. I know she's resisting it. If i could show her. Be the best i could be. I forget and i want to remember everytime. Coz i already knowwwwww~~~~~~~ HE would not show me until i make things right again for me and for everyone.. U said move on where do i go. i guess second best is what i will knw. When im with her im thinking of you. i wish that i was looking into your eyes.
Myself let u gooo.... Until, when will i be satisfied. When will i sit down and see what i've achieved? when will my heart accept me. Day after day is just a race through time. if i can't accept myself, how can anyone do."

That's just a 1/10 of what im thinking and thats not even done yet. words can't express what i think. what i feel.

Stormy depression

2009-08-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

Everytime i hear this song i drown,
It reminds me of something that was never done,
Something that was just left away,
Am i afraid to finish it,
Or has it ended?

Again, this depression is because of a girl.
Not any kind of girl one would say.
Farah's her name.
She keeps on playin hard to get,
But somewhere i feel like that is not she wants,
But everytime it shows that it is what she wants,
Maybe she thinks it's not what i want.

Ive been friends with her for a long time.
I never had feelings for her.
She was the same.
But when my destination to U life was about to begin.
She shows me signs that she has,
And through that i started to have,
Its all so confusing.
I dont know.
What should i do...??

Everyday, you'll face things that make u ask "what should i do?"
Its the most asked question in the history of mankind.
So, again.

What should i do?

Windy depression

2009-08-13T04:07:00.001-07:00

Take my photo of the wall
If it just wont sing for you
Cause all thats left has gone away
and There's nothing for you to prove

Oh,look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh,well it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
Cause i just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
what should i do
Well,you choose

Oh,look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh,well it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Take my photo of the wall
If it just wont sing for you
Cause all thats left has gone away
and There's nothing for you to do

Oh,look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh,well it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

A New Experience

2009-07-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Much has happened since the first day i was here, uitm shah alam.
My status of becoming one of the popular boys is labeled on me as usual. I cant help it, i love the crowd. But being a positive person gives me much more reward than i can ever imagine.. (THX TO ZIKRI) Many friends, lots of laughs and NO peer pressure. Seriously NONE. Everyone here is okay, and there's no need to worry bout ur belongings. How valuable it is, juz put it there and it will stay there untouched.
The Siswi here are two times the Siswa, so its fun. I have lots of friends, and being patient is also rewarding.. (ONCE AGAIN THX TO ZICK) I find myself in a position where girls are confessing to me, much more than usual. Thx girls, u gave me the inspiration i need to be the best. Im still not ready for a relationship, until i find the right one. Take note that this is so not like me, usually i just go with whoever is brave enough to approach me.. Studies are really interesting, i feel my brain getting bigger day by day.. xDD hahaha. People are asking me for tips, and wanting to have study groups with me. Thx guys for trusting me, i promise u i'll be much more better than i am now. Here at UiTM, i'd like to say the biggest challenge is the Siswi. In the campus area is totally free, the guards dont check who's in. They usually just check who comes in. Im staying in a block like apartment, and its shared by the Siswi. They have another block, but its all Siswi. Siswi dominates this place, its kinda sad at the same point. So staying in the same block with them plus the total freedom u get, its kinda tempting. The people in charge really do treat us like adults, so when treated as such we should act as such. So no matter how much i want to go to the Siswi's floor, i cant. I should act maturely, and only go up there in a professional matter. Because of this, most of the Siswi trusts me, some of them who don't know me don't i guess. There are times when i start to lose focus on why i came here on the 1st place, but whenever i start to forget i'll just read my blog and my focus returns. It is human to forget, but it is also human to be reminded.

-Arshad.A.Mahmud

NOT THE DESTINATION BUT THE JOURNEY

2009-06-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

27/06/09

So, this is it.. I’m here at the place where I will begin my journey as a university student.
My future is in my hands. Only me.
With these hands I will create and shape the path to my future.
Coz, I’ve been given a chance. A chance to prove myself.
Syukur kepada ALLAH.
I will never forget, who I am and where I stand.
Just to be the best humanly possible.
I will break the chain and create a new chain of my family.
Where my generation and my chain will be created by me and improved by my children.
Keturunan aku, akan dipenuhi dengan insan2 yg berpelajaran dan dekat dgn ALLAH.
This is my change, and the biggest one yet. I will make this change. I will.
I have great friends that I learn from, these friends have endured much more than me.
Compared to them, im just someone new. Thank you my friends.
Thank you Zikri
Thank you Faiz
Thank you Azfar

I will remember the lessons you taught me, the lessons you showed me.